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Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Rental of the week: somewhere near St. Clair and Lansdowne

Do you remember going to your parent's office on take-your-kid-to-work day? The bleak brick building, with hardly any windows and fluorescent lighting that makes everyone look like they’ve just had the flu? 

Do you remember the furniture? Can you picture the fake oak cabinets, the couch with the horrendous 90’s upholstery? 

Well if you’ve ever wondered what a 90’s office looks like in someone’s basement, this place is exactly that. It even has the gross laminate floor that could be found in almost any public building in the mid-90s. 

st clair and lansdowneThe kitchen, if it even is a kitchen, looks like the sad break room where your Dad made boring small talk with his colleagues wishing he could quit this job and retire on a beach in Florida. Shut it Carol, no one cares that your kids play T-ball! 

Actually, not sure this is a kitchen. There doesn’t appear to be a fridge, microwave, a stove or even a hot plate!

This place is apparently fully furnished but I have not seen a bed so I can only assume that it is the couch you will be sleeping on… although maybe it’s a pullout couch. Not that that’s really any better. 

Having slept on many a pullout couch from the 90’s enjoy feeling the cold hard bar dig into your back. Careful not to turn too much in your sleep or it will only make the agony worse. And just give up on ever trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. There isn’t one. 

Everything about this place is grim but what’s more grim is the listing details, which are mostly in shout-y capitals and definitely not in compliance with the Ontario Human Rights Code

“We are looking for INDIAN ORIGIN COUPLE OR INDIA ORIGIN TWO STUDENTS WHICH CAN BE CONSIDERED,” the listing reads. You’re not allowed to discriminate by race if this is a separate unit.  

The only instance this would be allowed is if the tenant shares the bathroom or kitchen with the landlord… now that I think of it there’s no picture of a bathroom. And if you have to share the bathroom with this family why the f**k does this place cost $1,200 a month!   

st clair lansdowneOther gems of this place are the drain in the middle of the floor, exposed wiring and a wonky closet that will probably pinch your fingers at least once a month. 

Specs
  • Address: St. Clair and Lansdowne
  • Type: Office furniture dumping ground
  • Rent: $1,200/ month
  • Furnished? Yes
  • Utilities: Yes  
  • Air conditioning? No
  • Bedrooms: 1
  • Bathrooms: 1
  • Parking: No
  • Laundry? No
  • Outdoor space? No
  • Pet friendly? No 
Good For

Feeling like you’ve gone back in time to a really shit office building.  

Move On If

You don’t fit their “criteria”. 


by Misha Gajewski via blogTO

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