Rental of the week: Bathurst Street and Steeles Avenue

I love Google Translate. Honestly, it wrote most of my French essays in high school and has helped me out of more than one jam in a foreign country.

But this week it has provided me with something more valuable than how to ask a stranger for directions to the train station in Polish: it has gifted me with the English version of the weirdest ad on Craigslist. 

Behold! Our rental of the week listing in all caps reads: PARA SA MGA GUSTONG UMUPA BATHURST/STEELES BACHELOR PARA SA UPA. 

This, according to the magic of Google, is Filipino for “FOR BEST LOVED BATHURST / STEELES BACHELOR FOR RENT.”

It doesn’t even look a little loved. I mean, the fridge is in a closet! Who puts their favourite kitchen appliance in a closet? 

It definitely deserves a better spot than those weights you bought one week when you felt like this was the week you were going to get your life together.  

Also does it even open properly? Or does it get stuck on the door jam every time you go to grab milk? I guess that’s one way to diet… 

But I get it, they’re trying to make this kinda terrible place seem better than it is — classic sales tactic. 

Then the listing reads: “PARA SA MGA GUSTONG UMUPA”.

Now, you might think this has a somewhat similar meaning to the headline of the listing since the same words are featured but apparently, if you put it through Google Translate, it means: “For wedding women.”

Uhhh what? Is this some weird holding pad for mail-order brides? Or do you just have to want to get married one day? Do you have to marry the landlord? Is it for wedding planners? What do they mean?! 

Also I am well aware that Google Translate can be off sometimes so this might not be as creepy as intended, but if it’s not, this is a really messed up prerequisite to living here. 

But, then again it’s only $900 a month and there seems to be a whole stove and a bathtub, so depending on how far you’re willing to go for low rent, this might not be the worst deal after all.    

Specs

• Address: Bathurst Street and Steeles Avenue
• Type: Bachelor Basement
• Rent: $900/ month
• Furnished? No
• Utilities: No info  
• Air conditioning? hindi (that's 'no' in Filipino) 
• Bedrooms: 1
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? Coin
• Outdoor space? No
• Pet friendly? No info

Good For

The most unconventional lease agreement. Is it a marriage certificate or a rental contract? Who knows! 

Move On If

You’re not a “wedding woman.”

by Misha Gajewski via blogTO