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Friday, June 5, 2015

The top 10 places to break up with someone in Toronto

Break up torontoBreaking up with someone is hard to do, and it's a task made even more difficult given all the possible ways it could go terribly wrong. If you've managed to resist the temptation to follow the millennial practice of doing the deed via text, well done! But now comes the hard part: you must choose the most appropriate setting to wreak emotional havoc on your possibly unsuspecting (former) mate.

Here are my picks for the best places break up with someone in Toronto.

O.NOIR
This dine-in-the-dark restaurant allows you to disguise your potential emotional outpour but still get your feelings across, all without the shame of "not doing it in person." For those looking to avoid the guilt that comes along with looking into the sad eyes of the breakup victim, the location has everything you need.

Marvel Coffee
Immediately next door to Donlands Station, this cafe provides you with easy access to an escape route should your breakup go left. Great coffee and pastries, but no tables or chairs means you can get in and out quickly and hopefully unscathed.

Christie Pits Park
Not as couple-y as Trinity Bellwoods, Christie Pits offers the benefits of wide open spaces (for potential meltdowns) but with the added bonus of sporting activities to visually distract your partner from the news being broken.

416 Snack Bar
The bite-sized food allows you to get through your meal quickly (because there's nothing worse that dragging out awkward meal time) and, similar to O.NOIR, the low lighting will help you evade the hateful gaze of your now ex. It's also loud, so people won't be listening in.

Union Station (York Concourse)
Passing through Union on your way to or from work? A cruel fact, this location is nothing if not efficient for the breakuper on the go. Further, no one seems to be using the York Concourse these days, so you run little to no risk of herds of commuters making you yell your breakup spiel over the 5 o'clock rush.

Toronto Islands
This is a choice for breaking up with someone you know well enough that you can be confident they will not try to throw you off the ferry. Though incredibly busy in the summer, its pseudo seclusion provides the perfect balance between public and private.

Bulldog Coffee
Three things drew me to Bulldog: the food, the location and the owner. For those who like to drown their sorrows in buttery baked goods, this place offers some of the best croissants in the city. For those who seek out retail therapy, this café is only a few blocks from the Eaton Centre. Lastly, Ross, the owner, seems like the kind of guy who you could vent to for hours and nothing would faze him.

Toronto Reference Library
The pressures of social norms are on your side for this location, because no one wants to make scene in the library. Breaking up at the Reference Library may not be the nicest choice (since you're virtually silencing your partner from speaking their feelings) but if you're looking for the best way to prevent a loud public display of non-affection, this library is the way to go.

Nadege Bakery
Chocolate. Need I say more? For the gluttonous emotional eater, a break up in or adjacent to this this Queen West bakery will give you (or, more importantly, your future ex-partner) the excuse you need to splurge on the best chocolate in the city.

Dundas Square
Last, but certainly not least, Y&D has almost all the advantages of all the above: quick access to subway, nearby retail therapy, emotional eating locations galore, but most of all, and possibly the most beneficial, the hustle and bustle to provide enough noise to drown out any potential shouting or crying.

What did I miss? Add your suggestions for break up locations in the comments.

Writing by Emily Tamfo

Photo by the Wizard of Oz in the blogTO Flickr pool.


by Guest Contributor via blogTO

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