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Friday, December 26, 2014

The 10 worst first date ideas in Toronto

worst date ideas torontoWith the advent of grindr (a location-based hookup/dating app) and tinder (the straight grindr) on the social scene, more first dates are happening now than ever before. While Toronto has some great places to spend time with your new hopefully-not-a-murderer beau, there are some first date ideas that should definitely be avoided.

Here are my picks for the worst first date ideas in Toronto.

Playing the Real Escape Game Toronto

This is actually a really fun thing to do, but it's likely best not to have a first date that involves yelling frantically at your potential suitor to find an anagram for tendered husk to discover the last clue.

Hanging out at Yonge and Dundas Square

If you haven't met in real life yet, meeting at Yonge and Dundas Square is a bad idea. At best, you'll get distracted by the living statue. At worst, it will take forever to figure out which guy in the Canada Goose jacket is yours ("How can I recognize him if he doesn't have a tiger in the picture??") and you'll have a headache from bumping into teenage shoppers from Mississauga and hearing "BELIEVE!" over and over while you casually refresh your emails every thirty seconds.

Having dinner at The Sultan's Tent

This tourist-central restaurant is overpriced, underwhelming and the prixe fixe menu is a nightmare for first daters who aren't sure of food allergies (and yes, she'll have some). Plus, the belly dancers' sassy moves could make one of you feel insecure and need to overcompensate ("Sure, she's gorgeous, an amazing dancer and incredibly sexy, but did she write a Lives Lived that was published in the actual, for-real paper?? Uh yeah, I didn't think so").

Going to a Munk Debate

Not only is sitting quietly next to someone a bad way to get to know them, but if you don't see eye to eye on Obama's foreign policy, the walk home is going to be awkward. Better to save this idea for when you're on board with each others' conspiracy theories.

Visiting America at the Trump Hotel

After Chris Nuttall-Smith's shade-throwing piece on America went viral, Trump's America was elevated to Toronto's douchebag headquarters (while Earl's quietly rejoiced). Unless you're Greg and looking for the next Julie, stay away.

Taking a Crossfit class

Do you want to be yelled at on a date? Do you want to be humiliated in front of someone you are trying to impress? Do you want to be called names and made to do things that would make your ancestors shake their heads in pity all while trying to seem sexually appealing to someone? Do you want this in a non-BDSM way? No. Nobody wants this.

Attending a taping of Steven and Chris

Their loving relationship and enviable life can and will make you depressed if the date starts off slowly. Plus, your nana will have televised evidence of your night out and will ask, to no end, if things didn't work out because you dress like Opie Griffith.

Grabbing a drink at the Chill Ice Lounge

If you're the type of person who wants to spend top dollar to hang out inside a giant freezer, you should probably not bring that up until at least the fifth date.

Going to a psychic

As a carefree youth, I once went to a psychic as a fun date activity. The psychic read my palm and loudly stated, in front of my very religious and socially conservative date, that not only would I not find love, but I would have several abortions in the process. We didn't see each other again.

Patronizing The Brass Rail


What did I miss? Add your suggestions for the worst first date ideas in Toronto in the comments.

Photo of America

by Martha Stortz via blogTO

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